Pecker Buys Procedurally Taxing For Undisclosed Sum

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David Pecker, whose company owns the National Enquirer, purchased all rights to the name and likeness and prior posts of Procedurally Taxing for an undisclosed sum. Pecker, whose National Enquirer has been in the news of late due to its cozy relationship with President Trump, has long felt the need to enter the nascent world of legal blogging, especially tax, with its cross over to and connection with the world of entertainment.

In commenting on the purchase, Pecker noted that just in the last few weeks we have seen Cardi B talk about tax policy, rapper DMX get sentenced to jail for tax evasion, an innocent taxpayer sue Howard Stern and the IRS for an employee talking about her tax account on the shock jock’s radio show, and John Oliver sing the praises of tax exemptions as he discusses prosperity gospel.

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Noting the extensive reach that PT has in the bar, the bench and in government, Pecker hopes to leverage his company’s marketing and publicity to expand the blog’s footprint.

“Tax is everywhere,” said Pecker. “Outlets like Procedurally Taxing do not have a clue about the real world.”

While we are working out the final details, it appears that Keith, Stephen, and I, the founding bloggers, will remain affiliated with the blog in some capacity, though it is expected that we will significantly reduce time spent on the blog to allow well known celebrity authors to post.

The first post, due to be published Monday is entitled “Frequent Contributor Carl Smith Abducted by Aliens Claiming to Know Precise Constitutional Status of Tax Court.” Written by Fogg’s Harvard Law School colleague Steve Shay, who specializes in international and intergalactic transactions, the post hopes to explore issues that have long troubled not only the tax bar but also the public at large.

Pecker has released Monday’s post in preview form to a number of tax celebrities. Frank Agostino commented:  “The aliens have made a Graev mistake.  There is no evidence that the initial determination to abduct was personally approved in writing by the immediate supervisor of the alien making the abduction.  I plan to appeal this matter to the Court of Appeals for the Milky Way Circuit.  Or, at least go out and buy a Milky Way bar.”

Nina Olson thought:  “Carl Smith’s abduction no doubt violates a number of provisions of the Taxpayer Bill of Rights that I recently got Congress to incorporate into section 7803.  I won’t help Carl, but I will closely monitor any litigation in this area.”

Tax Court Chief Judge L. Paige Marvel expressed surprise that PT was aware of the abduction. “Information about the abduction,” she said, “is contained within the Tax Court files of a case Smith brought, but the information is not available on line.  To get this information, someone had to go to the Tax Court Public Files Office in D.C. or pay 50 cents a page for it to get it mailed out.  Who would do that?”

Pat Smith of Ivins Philips argued that Carl Smith’s abduction was invalid as a violation of the Administrative Procedure Act and looked forward to any court case that might overcome the limits of the Galactic Anti-Abduction Injunction Act.”

President Trump tweeted that “Regardless, the Trump campaign and Trump Administration did not speak to any of the aliens who abducted Smith.  There was NO COLLUSION.  Covfefe.”

Hillary Clinton noted that Carl Smith was a resident of Manhattan, a locale that voted overwhelmingly for her in 2016.  “Obviously, the aliens wanted someone smarter to probe.”

Leslie Book About Leslie Book

Professor Book is a Professor of Law at the Villanova University Charles Widger School of Law.

Comments

  1. Robert Nassau says:

    I love it!

  2. T
    his is an April Fool’s joke, right?

  3. John Koskinen says:

    Thanks for your blogging over the past few years. We will miss you but you deserve some financial gain for all the work you have put in.

    • Lavar Taylor says:

      You are not really John Koskinen. You are just his alter ego. Sorry, you have lost your Collection Due Process rights.

  4. Any wagers on the number of folks who won’t get the 4/1 connection?

  5. Fake news

  6. According to two sources, the sale proceeds are needed to pay gambling debts incurred by certain current and former faculty members at a law school near Philadelphia. The sources, who asked that their identity not be revealed because of sealed Tax Court documents, said that the sale will not be final until Monday night. The owners hope to avoid it by covering their debts with proceeds from winning their NCAA basketball championship brackets, which predicted a win by Villanova.

  7. Norman Diamond says:

    “Frequent Contributor Carl Smith Abducted by Aliens Claiming to Know Precise Constitutional Status of Tax Court.”

    To be insufficiently precise, those are Non Resident Aliens. This is because US Non Citizen Nationals are US nationals for the purpose of US nationality and citizenship laws, but they’re non resident aliens for the purpose of US internal^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H international^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H intergalactic revenue code. No wait, that’s insufficiently precise too because FuBAR has a different definition from both of those.

    ‘Nina Olson thought: “Carl Smith’s abduction no doubt violates a number of provisions of the Taxpayer Bill of Rights that I recently got Congress to incorporate into section 7803.’

    How do you know what she thought? Mental telepathy? Not that it matters, since courts have decided that the TBOR is an April Fool.

  8. That.was.awesome!

  9. Les & Keith & Steve – Best of luck on your good fortune in having negotiated such a beneficial deal that will greatly expand your prestige and influence [with the emphasis on FORTUNE]. I hope the employment agreements and noncompetes allow you enough time to enjoy the opportunities that come with so much wealth and prominence. I’m sure you’re going to celebrate each anniversary of April 1, 2018 and remember this life-changing day. – Ron

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